I don’t think anyone has truly grasped how the Selfie stick is going to be responsible for a species to become extinct and thus causing economical turmoil to the point that the Apocalypse will ensue.
Extinct species you ask?
I of course am talking about those fine citizens across the world that will gladly take a photo of you in front of some tourist attraction with your camera, you know the people I speak of, you know how the scenario goes:
“Excuse me, do you mind taking a photo of us with my camera? Oh thank you, now it’s on full manual settings, do you know how to use manual? Let me just change that to full auto, ok here you go, just press the button half way until you here a beep then push it all the way, that’s great thank you so much….. (whisper to your self “oh that is a terrible photo, they didn’t get any of the back ground, what are they blind?”) Oh thanks for that, here could you maybe take one more and this time get the background as well? OK thank you so much…. (thinking to yourself looking at the next one “oh dear God in heaven that photo was even worse than the first one”) oh no that’s fine you don’t have to take it again , thanks again so much”
Yes these fine citizens who do these great deeds for tourists and locals alike are in threat of becoming extinct thus eschewing in economic ruin, and also taking with them a myriad of bad photos of travel destinations filled with out of frame memory’s and badly timed shots, the ones with eyes closed and mouths positioned in that awkward moment just before you speak the “ch” in cheese…..
How many of you are trying that right now to see what I mean?
Yes my friends, to quote Bob Dylan, times they are a changing and if Bob was open for an interview I’m sure he’ll just look me straight in the eye and say “who are you again and why do you think I care about this?”
Now I am aware of the positive impact this will have on reducing crime, yes Selfie sticks are reducing crime on a global scale… there are a percentage of the afore mentioned citizens that in fact go out of their way to offer to take a photo of you with your camera, they spend time positioning themselves to make it look like they are getting a great shot only to have backed up far enough from you to turn and run with your photographic device, running all the way to the local pawn shop leaving you with no memories and destroying what was going to be the holiday of your life.
However this in itself is also a bad thing as it is affecting our economy in a big way… Let me break it down,
Old way:
1.Travellers insures camera in fear of theft so insurer gets money.
2. Travel gets camera stolen in the “let me take that photo for you” scam, thief goes to pawn shop sells camera and makes money to spend on other things, people make money.
3. Photography student needs camera but can’t afford a new one… Goes to pawnshop buys “second hand” camera, pawnshop makes money.
4. Student becomes a great photographer and makes money bus better gear and sells the old stuff back to pawnshop (or becomes a bad photographer and sells the camera back to the pawnshop allowing that process to repeat with another new student) either way both make money.
5. Traveller puts in insurance claim when they get back and gets a cheque for a new camera which they actually use to buy other things instead causing others to make money, insurer raises the renewal to cover costs and again makes money.
New way:
1. Traveller buys Selfie stick for $10 off ebay because they don’t want to trust anyone overseas with their camera plus they think they will be able to produce awesome photos that all their family and friends will love….
12 people involved in the creation and redistribution of the Selfie stick take a share of that $10 and make money…. somehow.
2. Post said photos on Facebook in anticipation that the next time they log in their notifications number will resemble a ticket number while waiting in line at your local transport agency.
3.log in to Facebook 8 hours later to see 1 like from a family member and 1 comment from that one friend who comments on everything stating “how come every photo shows your arm stretched out holding something towards the camera?”
Only $10 was made….
The new way basically is killing the economy…. and our Facebook feeds! The only ones to profit are Facebook themselves via their advertising and selling of our personal information. The world will come to a cataclysmic stop when all of its money has been funnelled into the accounts of Facebook…. all because of the apocalypse causing Selfie stick.
Worst of all, the fine citizens of the world who take those awful tourist photos for you will soon be extinct and they are the only ones who can prevent this atrocity.
We need to return to tradition before its too late….
We need the bad tourists photo takers to return….
We need these citizens, they are our only hope to prevent this impending doom.
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