Exercise – The great deceiver

Yesterday a work colleague was out with the company personal trainer doing the whole fitness thing. What should have been a routine 40 minute workout turned into a destroyed calf muscle with 2 weeks on crutches and a 6 to 8 week recovery time.

This got me thinking about the great ruse that exercise is. The amount of times I’ve heard people complain about their bodies hurting the day after a session, the groanings of twisted ankles, athlete’s foot, tennis elbow and pulled muscles, the shrieking of torn ligament’s, cramps and fractured bones is quite a lot.
There are those who are told “you pushed too hard, done this for too long and now you’ll never be able to do such and such again”. There’s the great expense of surgeries, medical procedures, specialist appointments, medications, down time from work because of the injuries from exercise.
There’s the mental anguish of the constant push for more, the need for perfection, enough is never enough, the allure of “enhancers” that get you there faster, make you stronger, push you further and the ongoing pursuit of the “perfect” figure that is always out of reach and nearly a 24 hour a day commitment to hold on to it if and when you get there only to one day get too old to maintain it and then watch it all suddenly catch up with you and wear you out.

Exercise for a greater life? but you miss out on so much, sacrifice fun, food, taste and great life experiences just so you don’t jeopardize the state of your body that is ever changing and aging anyway. You push yourself so you can live a long healthy life (providing all the other dangers in the world that aren’t effected by how fit you are don’t get to you first) yet get to a point where enough finally does become enough and it all starts falling apart because it’s well and truly worn out.

Now I’m not saying that their isn’t any benefit to it, but is this new world of health and fitness taking us to a standard that actually is further and higher than we truly need to go?
I can spend a whole 24 hours just looking at tele shopping channels and listen to why this new abs machine is better than the old abs machine that we released yesterday. Why this soup maker is all you’ll need to lose 10 kilos in just seven days (terms, conditions and fine print apply). Why this non sick pan is the healthy option because it magically makes food better because it doesnt stick to the “dangerous” Teflon that has been killing us for the last 20+ years (brought to you by the fake overweight chef), has there been reports of Teflon pan cooked egg related deaths in the world?

I could spend everyday reading fitness magazines all boasting to have the greatest exercise methods, the newest scientific research and the fastest way to pure awesomeness and will still never get to read it all.
There is just so much fitness content out there that you could literally die trying to do just half of what it recommends and at the end of the day, at the end of it all, the results are no different than the machines and exercise regimes that were around 50 years ago.

Sure this day and age is all about speed and how fast you can look like a photoshopped model, however because of this push on instant results we’ve become obsessed with no patience and end up injuring ourselves, pushing too hard, too quick and blowing so much time, money and everyday life on the pursuit for sexy bods that we rarely ever are content with.

Now I know there are those of you out there that live for it and genuinely love it. It’s become a way of life for you and you would never want it any other way, it doesn’t interfere with your world and all that I’ve said is rubbish and the rest of what I’m about to say is utterly ridiculous… That’s cool, that makes sense actually got that way of life, this is more about those who don’t see it as a fun hobby or an income earning avenue. This is for those who are told you need to be this, you need to be that, you need to look, feel, dress and eat like this to be living life properly, it’s people like this that succumb to the evils of exercise because the doctor says moderation but the rest of the world says “why wait when you can be steel abbed and hot now”.

I’m 37, I need to be a little more active, I walk each day but I need to get the heart rate up just a little to burn the fat. I have recently cut out a lot of the bad foods but not completely, once every two weeks I spoil my taste buds, but not my body, and I’m happy as Larry because I still get the joy of the things I like without getting the regretful feelings afterwards of the over indulgence or pain that comes with no common sense.
I’m 5’11” and 105 kilo’s with high cholesterol, just a little lower than the minimal need to medicate level.
Ideally I should be 80kg at my age and like everyone, low cholesterol, yet I’m getting there, I’m not hurting myself, sacrificing fun or enjoyment along the way. I’m not “shedding the pounds” or watching that “fat melt away with just 5 easy payments of $39.95” but I am getting there, and because I’m not rushing, panicking, sacrificing all and staying patient, I’m getting there quicker and happier than I ever have before.

Exercise is evil, exercise is advertising, exercise is biased, exercise is mocking, exercise is a bully, exercise is a thief and exercise is a lie if it’s for any other reason than fun, but just being sensible, honest to yourself and patient you can look and feel just like you have always wanted too.
So don’t exercise anymore to get that quality of life that the world is trying to sell you, just take care out there and be smart with yourself, be generous to yourself and be realistic with all you do, it may also just give you back extra time and energy to take it easier and enjoy all that you have forgotten that use to make you happy.

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Day dream believer – The unexpected chronicles.

While on your lunch break from work sitting by the ocean on a bright, warm sunny day watching the waves calmly lap against the shore, holiday goers tanning on the sand, sea birds drifting along the gentle breeze and you see a majestic yacht floating in from an amazing day of sailing while you’ve been locked away under florescent lights starring at a computer screen, think to yourself… “roll out the long cannons and prepare to fire on my order mateys… She’ll be in range soon.”

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Bond… James Bond. I’ve gone super spy.

Over the weekend I finished watching the 50 years of Bond box set. I have always wanted to see them in order, maybe I should have watched Casino Royal and Quantum of Solace first so the rest would have been easy to pass off as Bond being in disguise.
Anyway last night I set up a web cam in my apartment so I could monitor it from home checking to see what my dogs do all day (sleeping, scratching and licking seem to be the done thing) and also so I could see if my house was entered by any unauthorized visits. We are moving soon and people are keen to see inside today, but when my wife or I are not there, we prefer this not to happen….
So I set up a camera and I’m monitoring it from work with the ability to record all that the camera sees and hears, and oh how super spy secret agent man do I feel right now.

Really I shouldn’t be suspicious that my land lord will bring some one through after I asked them not to when we weren’t home. Even though they did say that it would be better for them to bring someone through today after I’d told them that I’d prefer them to wait until Wednesday and after they asked if it was OK to do so in the first place.
But I am suspicious, after a year of trust issues occurring due to experiences I’ve had with my landlord, I’m now at a point where I’m second guessing every interaction I have with them.

However, have I gone too far this time? Webcams in my apartment, recording programs in place to capture evidence?
am I just being paranoid? or, is it just that I’ve watched so much James Bond lately that I’ve let it get in my head a bit to much? Heaven help me if I start watching The X-files again.

I have to say though, that thr little adrenaline rush I got today when I remotely logged into my home PC from work and turned on the webcam seeing my living room appear in a small window on my desktop was exciting… A little too exciting perhaps.

Has this happened to you? Have you ever been so influenced by a movie, game or TV show that it starts to get you thinking about it in your own world? Or do you fantasize about doing something that you saw in entertainment media?
I’d love to hear about it, I’m sure there are people out there who get caught up easily like me…. I hope so anyway.

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Feeling a little hipster – no this is not X rated.

I made my coffee this morning and suddenly had the urge to take a photo of this completely “random” combination of items on my desk that I didn’t meticulously arrange and then use a lomo filter on (o.O) then post some touchy feely inspiration to go with it to express the simplistic complexity of life, or, some witty play on words using physical objects to amplify the phrase… Im going with the latter on this one.

Yeah I’m feeling a little hipster.

So here’s my first and last hipster witty photo with phrase attempt, please feel free to discuss with me the feelings of “like omg this touched me in ways that only I understand before it was cool to feel feelings” that you may have.

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‘The keys to morning happiness are coffee glasses’

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Automated spelling- how I loathe thee.

Auto correct on phones needs a name change. It’s been long enough that we’ve allowed this menacing little peice of technology to silently mock us when communicating with the world, it sneakily changes words we type thus making us look ridiculous and enough is enough*.

So here’s a list of potential names that should hopefully reflect our sentiments from one point or another and more accurately describe the process.

1: Auto incorrect
2: Auto wrong
3: Auto I didn’t type that
4: Auto Stupid auto correct
5: Auto OMG auto correct changed it, I didn’t type that.
6: Auto Damn you auto correct
7: Auto (insert expletive) auto correct you peice of (insert expletive)
8: Auto OMG YOU SON OF A (censored) WHAT THE HELL WHY DON’T YOU STUPID (censored) PHONE MAKERS FIX THIS STUPID (censored) THING? EVERY (censored) TIME I TRY AND SEND A TEXT OR POST A STATUS YOU GO AND CHANGE MY (censored) WORDS. I’M SO (censored) SICK OF THIS!

and finally..

9: (censored) it

*12 words were auto corrected incorrectly while making this post.

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3 steps to starting a blog the wrong way…

1: Spend 4 hours designing a simplistic logo that is different to what you imagined.

2: Spend an addition 2 hours choosing a theme that you’ll change countless times.

3: Realize you’ve spent 6 hours and accomplished little, so post your first blog about the experience in 3 easy steps because you’ve used your whole Saturday afternoon doing this and can’t be bothered wasting the night as well….

 

I imagined my very first one of these to be so very very different….

 

 – welcome to green blogs and spam